Championship

Full time

1-0

HT: 1 - 0

Key moments

  1. 73'

    Yellow card for Arthur Morel

    Yellow card! Yes, Arthur Morel cannot escape that one!

  2. 37'

    Goal for Dodo! Robin Van Persie

    GOAL for Robin Van Persie!!! Robin Van Persie twists Joueur5 inside out and goes one-on-one with the keeper. He coolly chips it over the keeper who had already committed to the dive!!!

What a display of sheer incompetence—or perhaps "artistic interpretation" of football—we witnessed today as Dodo scraped a 1-0 victory over a completely toothless ASCM side. The match began with a comedy of errors, peaking at the 15th minute when ASCM was gifted a penalty, only to squander it with the grace of a newborn giraffe on ice. While Dodo spent the afternoon peppering the goal with six shots on target, ASCM seemed to treat the goal frame as an optional decoration, failing to register a single shot on target throughout the entire ninety minutes. 🤡

The breakthrough finally arrived in the 37th minute, rewarding Dodo for their persistence in what was essentially a one-sided target practice session. ASCM, clearly frustrated by their own inability to find the target, resorted to the only thing they seemed capable of today: tactical fouling. By the 73rd minute, the referee had seen enough of their desperate lunges, rightfully brandishing a yellow card to remind ASCM that they were supposed to be playing football, not auditioning for a wrestling federation.

Ultimately, Dodo walks away with the points, though they really should have put this game to bed much earlier given the lopsided statistics. ASCM leaves the pitch with nothing to show but a booking and a collective sense of embarrassment. It was a victory for Dodo, yes, but more importantly, it was a victory for anyone who enjoys watching a team fail to hit the broad side of a barn for an hour and a half. Absolute scenes. ⚽

Match details

On 08/10/2026 06:30

Piton de la Fournaise (Dodo)

33270 spectators

No extra time

Iker Casi...
255 pts
27 yrs
R. Carlos 3
254 pts
24 yrs
S Ramos
253 pts
28 yrs
Virgil Va...
254 pts
31 yrs
Rio Ferdi...
254 pts
26 yrs
Andrea Pirlo
249 pts
30 yrs
Xavi
250 pts
31 yrs
Jude Bell...
266 pts
23 yrs
Robin Van...
239 pts
31 yrs
C.Ronaldo
246 pts
28 yrs
Victor Os...
259 pts
28 yrs
Joueur1
309 pts
29 yrs
Stéphane ...
305 pts
29 yrs
Joueur5
285 pts
30 yrs
Joueur4
294 pts
28 yrs
Arthur Morel
299 pts
31 yrs
Joueur8
303 pts
30 yrs
Joueur7
297 pts
33 yrs
Joueur6
291 pts
33 yrs
Tefi
301 pts
24 yrs
Joueur11
293 pts
31 yrs
Joueur10
323 pts
34 yrs

Match commentary

  1. 90'

    Full time!

    And the referee blows the final whistle on this clear victory for Dodo against ASCM

  2. 88'

    Robin Van Persie overdoes it; after dribbling past two players, he tries a nutmeg on Joueur6, but it does not come off.

  3. 86'

    Joueur11 beats two players with a roulette. Andrea Pirlo tackles him cleanly, great recovery.

  4. 84'

    Shot on target by Andrea Pirlo

    Great work from Rio Ferdinand on the right, Andrea Pirlo hits a half-volley but it's no trouble for the keeper.

  5. 79'

    Dodo can no longer build up play or string two passes together! This is down to the excellent high press from ASCM!

  6. 75'

    Virgil Van Djik complains about the tight marking from Joueur6, but the referee ignores him.

  7. 73'

    Yellow card for Arthur Morel

    Yellow card! Yes, Arthur Morel cannot escape that one!

  8. 73'

    Arthur Morel pushes Andrea Pirlo in the back, the referee blows for a foul.

  9. 72'

    Shot off target by Jude Bellingham

    Jude Bellingham picks up the ball 30 meters out in the center, doesn't hesitate, and fires with all his might, but it's over the bar.

  10. 70'

    Joueur4 humiliates Victor Osimhen with his dribbling to enter the box. He pulls the ball back for a teammate, but a defender gets there first.

  11. 66'

    Save by Joueur1

    Joueur1 makes an incredible save on the goal line to stop a powerful shot from Xavi; Xavi can't believe it!

  12. 64'

    An excellent through ball from Andrea Pirlo to Jude Bellingham! He bears down on the keeper and it's a goooal!!! Oh no! The flag is up, it's offside.

  13. 60'

    Shot off target by C.Ronaldo

    C.Ronaldo tries his luck from distance, his swerving strike smashes against the post. What a shame!

  14. 57'

    Joueur11 commits a deliberate obstruction on R. Carlos 3. Watch out!

  15. 52'

    Arthur Morel tries to break into the box, but he is caught at the last moment by Rio Ferdinand, who clears the danger with a superb tackle!

  16. 51'

    Shot off target by Joueur7

    Joueur7 wins the ball in the opposition defense but rushes his effort and completely shanks it.

  17. 45'

    Back under way!

    Et c'est reparti pour une seconde période. L'équipe ASCM va devoir batailler si elle veut s'imposer.

  18. 45'

    Half-time

    C'est la fin de cette première mi-temps. Les équipes rentrent aux vestiaires pour 15 minutes sur le score de 1 buts à 0 pour Dodo.

  19. 42'

    Miscommunication between Victor Osimhen and R. Carlos 3 when there was a great chance to be had...

  20. 40'

    Joueur10 and Joueur7 execute a beautiful one-two and bring the ball forward.

  21. 37'

    Goal for Dodo! Robin Van Persie

    GOAL for Robin Van Persie!!! Robin Van Persie twists Joueur5 inside out and goes one-on-one with the keeper. He coolly chips it over the keeper who had already committed to the dive!!!

  22. 34'

    Save by Joueur1

    C.Ronaldo hits a clean shot on target, but Joueur1 makes a world-class save to clear the danger.

  23. 28'

    Shot off target by Joueur7

    Just as the pace of the game had dropped significantly, Joueur7 took the opportunity to try a long-range shot that goes just over the bar.

  24. 27'

    Shot off target by Joueur6

    Big miss! Joueur6 cuts the ball back to Arthur Morel. After a great touch he is one-on-one with the keeper, but his powerful strike is off target! What a waste...

  25. 21'

    Counter-attack led by Stéphane Masson, a great opportunity, he passes to Joueur8 open on the wing, but it's just out of reach and goes out for a throw-in.

  26. 19'

    Save by Joueur1

    Robin Van Persie hits a clean shot on target, but Joueur1 makes a world-class save to clear the danger.

  27. 16'

    Shot off target by Victor Osimhen

    Superb curling shot from Victor Osimhen that grazes the top left corner! That was close!

  28. 15'

    Penalty missed by Tefi

    Tefi runs up and blasts it high. Unfortunately for him, the ball sails deep into the stands.

  29. 15'

    Penalty to ASCM

    The referee points to the penalty spot! It looked like the foul was outside the box, though. Regardless, Tefi is already focused and getting ready to shoot.

  30. 14'

    Joueur10 dribbles past Iker Casillas with a magnificent nutmeg. Iker Casillas seems annoyed, so he tackles Joueur10 from behind. The referee saw it all, that's a foul!

  31. 9'

    Joueur6 accelerates and passes to Joueur7, who can't control the ball; it's a throw-in.

  32. 7'

    Shot off target by Andrea Pirlo

    After a scramble, Rio Ferdinand lays it back to Andrea Pirlo who shoots wide. What a shame!

  33. 6'

    Shot on target by Xavi

    Nice cross from Robin Van Persie finds its target perfectly, great strike from Xavi, but the keeper makes a spectacular fingertip save.

  34. 1'

    Tefi just tackled Jude Bellingham with both feet off the ground! That deserves a card!

  35. 0'

    Kick-off

    The referee checks with his assistants and blows the whistle for kick-off. The match is underway!

Key stats

Dodo ASCM
67% Possession 33%
1 Goals 0
6 Shots on target 0
4 Shots off target 3
1 Fouls 3
0 Yellow cards 1
0 Red cards 0
0 Injuries 0

Scorers

  • Robin Van Persie 37'

Scorers

None

Goalkeeper

Defence

Midfield

Attack

  • 37'

Substitutes

Goalkeeper

Defence

  • 73'

Midfield

Attack

Substitutes

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