Championship

Full time

Key moments

  1. 77'

    Goal for TEAM OUZE! CANCEROUZE

    CANCEROUZE powers home a header from INSOMNIOUZE's corner, leaving the keeper just watching the ball hit the back of the net.

  2. 69'

    Goal for TEAM OUZE! CANCEROUZE

    CANCEROUZE fires a shot from 30 meters out, burying it in the top corner. A dejected Mathieu Legrand can only fish the ball out of his net.

  3. 64'

    Free kick scored by SHARKOUZE

    From a well-positioned free kick, SHARKOUZE runs up and strikes the ball with the outside of his boot, right through the keeper's legs! You could say he got a bit lucky with that one.

  4. 42'

    Goal for TEAM OUZE! DIMITOUZE

    Following a poor clearance by Sorbet citron, DIMITOUZE finds himself alone at the penalty spot and opens his foot perfectly to beat the keeper.

What we witnessed today was less of a football match and more of an organized exercise in frustration for Hypopotamus. With a staggering zero shots—on or off target—the home side seemed to be playing a completely different sport, one where the goal is to see who can commit the most fouls. While Hypopotamus spent their afternoon hacking away at ankles and collecting nine pointless fouls, their opponents were busy putting on a masterclass in clinical demolition. ⚽

TEAM OUZE treated the pitch like their own personal training ground, peppering the opposition goal with 10 shots on target and another 7 wide. The dam finally broke in the 42nd minute, signaling the start of a 0-4 rout that could have easily been double digits if not for some early misses. By the time the second half rolled around, the men in TEAM OUZE jerseys were practically playing keep-away, scoring a brilliant free-kick at the 64th minute and adding two more goals in quick succession to seal the humiliation. 🤡

By the final whistle, the stat sheet told a brutal story: TEAM OUZE dominated every single blade of grass while Hypopotamus looked like they had wandered onto the field by accident. A corner-kick goal in the 77th minute was the final nail in the coffin, perfectly capping off a day where the visitors played with surgical precision and the hosts played with nothing but bad intentions. If Hypopotamus wants to win games in the future, they might want to consider actually trying to kick the ball into the net instead of just kicking the players.

Match details

On 26/09/2026 10:30

Brigitte ALZIN (Hypopotamus)

6964 spectators

No extra time

Mathieu L...
210 pts
28 yrs
Base vira...
201 pts
26 yrs
Dodu
201 pts
27 yrs
Turlututu
203 pts
23 yrs
Sorbet ci...
209 pts
26 yrs
Confiture
204 pts
25 yrs
Fenouil
203 pts
25 yrs
Chapeau P...
193 pts
29 yrs
Turbine à...
204 pts
31 yrs
Dildo
211 pts
23 yrs
BEBOUZE
231 pts
22 yrs
CASTOUZE
202 pts
22 yrs
RONCHONCH...
200 pts
22 yrs
ELCHAPOUZE
272 pts
31 yrs
SHARKOUZE
268 pts
28 yrs
SANKOUZE
316 pts
28 yrs
Wobi
241 pts
20 yrs
KATCHOUZE
314 pts
29 yrs
CANCEROUZE
343 pts
22 yrs
INSOMNIOUZE
350 pts
22 yrs
DIMITOUZE
308 pts
28 yrs

Match commentary

  1. 90'

    Full time!

    A match dominated from start to finish by TEAM OUZE who take the win; Hypopotamus could do nothing about it!

  2. 90'

    Free kick by SHARKOUZE

    SHARKOUZE unleashes a rocket that ends up in the stands.

  3. 89'

    Confiture catches RONCHONCHOUZE's ankle with that tackle; he needs to be careful. The referee blows for a foul.

  4. 85'

    From a ELCHAPOUZE cross, the ball reaches RONCHONCHOUZE who miscontrols it in the box. The defense clears.

  5. 83'

    CANCEROUZE finds plenty of space down the left. He crosses to Wobi, who controls with a spin and beats the keeper at the second attempt. But he is flagged offside. Replays confirm it was the right call.

  6. 79'

    Shot off target by CANCEROUZE

    CANCEROUZE is in front of goal, SHARKOUZE makes a run but CANCEROUZE goes for a shot that grazes the right post.

  7. 78'

    Wobi is on the edge of offside as he receives a superb pass from CASTOUZE, but he was indeed offside...

  8. 77'

    Goal for TEAM OUZE! CANCEROUZE

    CANCEROUZE powers home a header from INSOMNIOUZE's corner, leaving the keeper just watching the ball hit the back of the net.

  9. 74'

    Save by Mathieu Legrand

    A beautiful strike from INSOMNIOUZE headed for the top corner, but Mathieu Legrand tips it onto the crossbar. What a chance!!

  10. 72'

    Dildo is late on Wobi, and tackles him; the referee whistles for a foul.

  11. 69'

    Goal for TEAM OUZE! CANCEROUZE

    CANCEROUZE fires a shot from 30 meters out, burying it in the top corner. A dejected Mathieu Legrand can only fish the ball out of his net.

  12. 67'

    Base virale GPS and RONCHONCHOUZE are battling for the ball, and Base virale GPS delivers a violent shoulder charge to RONCHONCHOUZE, who goes down. It is a foul.

  13. 64'

    Free kick scored by SHARKOUZE

    From a well-positioned free kick, SHARKOUZE runs up and strikes the ball with the outside of his boot, right through the keeper's legs! You could say he got a bit lucky with that one.

  14. 64'

    Dildo catches Wobi's ankle with that tackle; he needs to be careful. The referee blows for a foul.

  15. 62'

    Hypopotamus is giving the ball away far too much in midfield and cannot string any passes together.

  16. 59'

    Shot off target by Wobi

    Wobi lets fly from 25 meters! Ohhhh, that was close.

  17. 56'

    Down the left flank, Wobi plays it through to SHARKOUZE, who sends a cross into the box but it is blocked by a defender.

  18. 51'

    Shot on target by Wobi

    A cross from SANKOUZE finds Wobi, who goes for a header. No trouble for the keeper.

  19. 49'

    Save by Mathieu Legrand

    INSOMNIOUZE took his time to lob Mathieu Legrand... perhaps too much time, as a defender's head comes to the rescue.

  20. 45'

    Back under way!

    Et c'est reparti pour 45 minutes. L'équipe Hypopotamus va devoir batailler si elle veut s'imposer.

  21. 45'

    Half-time

    C'est la fin de cette première mi-temps. Les équipes rentrent aux vestiaires pour 15 minutes sur le score de 1 buts à 0 pour TEAM OUZE.

  22. 42'

    Goal for TEAM OUZE! DIMITOUZE

    Following a poor clearance by Sorbet citron, DIMITOUZE finds himself alone at the penalty spot and opens his foot perfectly to beat the keeper.

  23. 37'

    Shot off target by INSOMNIOUZE

    INSOMNIOUZE crosses, DIMITOUZE attempts a difficult volley, but the ball goes over.

  24. 35'

    Shot off target by DIMITOUZE

    Nice strike from DIMITOUZE but it's off target. What a pity!

  25. 29'

    Shot off target by INSOMNIOUZE

    INSOMNIOUZE passes to KATCHOUZE, who strikes from 20 meters out, but the ball goes very close... to the corner flag.

  26. 28'

    SANKOUZE wins the ball in midfield and plays it to ELCHAPOUZE, but he goes on a dribbling run and loses possession.

  27. 27'

    Free kick by SHARKOUZE

    Great aerial claim from Mathieu Legrand, punching away a SHARKOUZE free kick into the box.

  28. 26'

    Chapeau Pointu attempts a tough tackle on KATCHOUZE but only catches his opponent's legs... Watch out!

  29. 23'

    In a duel with Dildo, Wobi goes down easily! Unfortunately, the referee has been fooled.

  30. 17'

    Undeniable foul! Confiture tackles ELCHAPOUZE with both feet off the ground!

  31. 12'

    Free kick by SHARKOUZE

    SHARKOUZE steps up, his shot is on target, but it is easily blocked by Mathieu Legrand.

  32. 12'

    The tackle by Base virale GPS on INSOMNIOUZE is unacceptable; it is rightly called as a foul.

  33. 8'

    Shot off target by KATCHOUZE

    Swerving cross from SHARKOUZE, KATCHOUZE tries to connect but sends the ball out for a goal kick.

  34. 7'

    Following a nice piece of skill from CASTOUZE, Turlututu can only leave his leg in. The referee blows for a foul!

  35. 5'

    A run down the right from SANKOUZE, who crosses but sees his ball cleared by Turlututu. The danger remains near the penalty area.

  36. 2'

    Save by Mathieu Legrand

    Wobi fires a confident shot from 25 meters! But Mathieu Legrand makes an incredible save, the crowd is going wild!

  37. 1'

    RONCHONCHOUZE is time-wasting! That is a nasty tackle on Mathieu Legrand.

  38. 0'

    Kick-off

    And we are underway! We expect a quality match as Hypopotamus faces TEAM OUZE.

Key stats

Hypopotamus TEAM OUZE
26% Possession 74%
0 Goals 4
0 Shots on target 10
0 Shots off target 7
9 Fouls 1
0 Yellow cards 0
0 Red cards 0
0 Injuries 0

Scorers

None

Scorers

  • CANCEROUZE 77' INSOMNIOUZE
  • CANCEROUZE 69'
  • SHARKOUZE 64'
  • DIMITOUZE 42'

Goalkeeper

Defence

Midfield

Attack

Substitutes

Goalkeeper

Defence

  • 64'

Midfield

Attack

  • 77'69'
  • 77'
  • 42'

Substitutes

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