Championship

Full time

Key moments

  1. 90'

    Goal for DickyDog! Esprit VENGEUR

    Esprit VENGEUR pulls off a stepover, catching the defense off-balance, which gives him space to unleash a majestic strike. The keeper couldn't do anything; he didn't even move.

  2. 87'

    Red card for Zidane

    Oh no, the referee shows a red card to Zidane! This is a huge blow for the team!

  3. 64'

    Upamecano goes down injured

    Upamecano is complaining about his leg, he should be coming off shortly.

  4. 26'

    Goal for DickyDog! SquirtyBéranger

    After a clever roulette, Esprit VENGEUR sets up SquirtyBéranger, who finds the back of the net with a clean strike.

What a spectacular display of incompetence from FRANCEFOOTBALL! Watching them try to play football against DickyDog was like watching a group of toddlers attempt to assemble a space shuttle. While DickyDog spent the first hour testing the structural integrity of the goalposts with a staggering ten total shots, FRANCEFOOTBALL decided that the best way to honor the sport was by committing eight fouls and practically turning the pitch into a wrestling ring. 🤡

The drama peaked in the second half, where FRANCEFOOTBALL seemed to confuse the referee's whistle with a dinner bell for violence. By the 64th minute, they had already clocked up enough fouls to lose a player to injury, proving that their only real tactical plan was to kick everything that moved. The discipline, or lack thereof, hit a hilarious low in the 87th minute when a well-deserved red card was brandished, leaving them to finish the game in total disarray.

Naturally, DickyDog capitalized on the absolute wreckage left behind by their opponents. As the clock ticked into the 90th minute, they finally put the nail in the coffin, securing a 2-0 victory that felt more like a mercy killing than a competitive match. FRANCEFOOTBALL heads home with a broken squad and a bruised ego, while DickyDog can celebrate a win against a team that clearly prioritized mayhem over actual athleticism. Absolute comedy gold! ⚽

Match details

On 22/09/2026 20:30

Le Parc des Pinfres (DickyDog)

54952 spectators

No extra time

Big clampin
284 pts
26 yrs
Creamy De...
274 pts
30 yrs
Sup Naked
276 pts
25 yrs
HUBERTO C...
301 pts
25 yrs
Quoicoubaka
278 pts
28 yrs
Caillou dur
271 pts
29 yrs
SquirtyBé...
263 pts
30 yrs
Le G
279 pts
26 yrs
Esprit VE...
268 pts
20 yrs
Hermano d...
279 pts
27 yrs
Gros Beig...
289 pts
27 yrs
Barthez
283 pts
34 yrs
Thuram
267 pts
19 yrs
Jijo
209 pts
19 yrs
Upamecano
270 pts
21 yrs
Varane
213 pts
19 yrs
Woji
229 pts
20 yrs
Deschamps
235 pts
20 yrs
Zidane
280 pts
21 yrs
Henry
272 pts
26 yrs
Mbappé
322 pts
21 yrs
Trezeguet
267 pts
27 yrs

Match commentary

  1. 91'

    Full time!

    FRANCEFOOTBALL defended well, but could not prevent DickyDog from securing this great victory.

  2. 90'

    Goal for DickyDog! Esprit VENGEUR

    Esprit VENGEUR pulls off a stepover, catching the defense off-balance, which gives him space to unleash a majestic strike. The keeper couldn't do anything; he didn't even move.

  3. 87'

    Red card for Zidane

    Oh no, the referee shows a red card to Zidane! This is a huge blow for the team!

  4. 86'

    The tackle by Zidane on Sup Naked is unacceptable; it is rightly called as a foul.

  5. 85'

    Creamy Deluxe dribbles past two opponents, but Varane decides to use brute force to end the run! Undeniable foul!

  6. 82'

    Shot off target by Mbappé

    Mbappé fires a low cross across the goal... Trezeguet gets a touch but it goes out for a goal kick.

  7. 78'

    Shot off target by Quoicoubaka

    Quoicoubaka skins two players and hits the post from thirty-five meters out!!

  8. 74'

    Shot off target by Hermano delchibro

    Hermano delchibro tries his luck from 35 meters out, but it flies way over. That would have been 3 points in rugby!

  9. 71'

    Zidane cannot stop Le G, so he pulls his shirt. Undeniable foul.

  10. 66'

    Save by Big clampin

    The powerful 20-meter strike from Zidane is punched away by Big clampin.

  11. 64'

    Upamecano goes down injured

    Upamecano is complaining about his leg, he should be coming off shortly.

  12. 64'

    Quoicoubaka commits a deliberate obstruction on Upamecano. Watch out!

  13. 63'

    Heavy foul by Deschamps who charges into Gros Beignet Dodu from behind.

  14. 57'

    Free kick by Gros Beignet Dodu

    What a save from Barthez! Gros Beignet Dodu's free kick was heading for the top corner, but the keeper's reflex denies the goal.

  15. 57'

    Henry stamps on Esprit VENGEUR, who is writhing in pain. Watch out for the card!

  16. 53'

    Shot off target by Le G

    After a scramble, Quoicoubaka lays it back to Le G who shoots wide. What a shame!

  17. 51'

    Save by Barthez

    A beautiful strike from Gros Beignet Dodu headed for the top corner, but Barthez tips it onto the crossbar. What a chance!!

  18. 47'

    DickyDog has settled on the ball and is moving it well, looking for an opening; FRANCEFOOTBALL will struggle to win it back.

  19. 45'

    Back under way!

    Et c'est reparti pour une seconde période. L'équipe FRANCEFOOTBALL va devoir batailler si elle veut s'imposer.

  20. 45+2'

    Half-time

    C'est la fin de cette première mi-temps. Les équipes rentrent aux vestiaires pour 15 minutes sur le score de 1 buts à 0 pour DickyDog.

  21. 41'

    DickyDog has possession but can't find a way through, as FRANCEFOOTBALL is defending the pitch well.

  22. 36'

    Free kick by Woji

    Great aerial claim from Big clampin, punching away a Woji free kick into the box.

  23. 35'

    Thuram cuts inside to beat his marker, but Quoicoubaka hacks him down. Unbelievable, he was through!

  24. 32'

    Shot off target by SquirtyBéranger

    Header from SquirtyBéranger!!! He outjumps everyone and heads it toward the back post, but misses the target.

  25. 29'

    Shot off target by Esprit VENGEUR

    Esprit VENGEUR has no options and fires... straight into the stands. He probably wanted to give the ball to his wife.

  26. 28'

    What a foul! As Le G was heading for goal, Zidane comes in late and sweeps his opponent's legs!

  27. 26'

    Goal for DickyDog! SquirtyBéranger

    After a clever roulette, Esprit VENGEUR sets up SquirtyBéranger, who finds the back of the net with a clean strike.

  28. 20'

    Free kick by Gros Beignet Dodu

    What a free kick!!!! Gros Beignet Dodu goes for power. Unfortunately, the ball hits the crossbar before flying into the stands. What a chance!

  29. 20'

    Heavy foul by Upamecano who charges into Sup Naked from behind.

  30. 17'

    Upamecano looks for Zidane in behind the defense, but Zidane cannot control the ball properly.

  31. 15'

    HUBERTO CARLOS makes no attempt to play the ball there! Zidane is on the ground. It is a foul.

  32. 11'

    Sup Naked is furious! The referee whistles for a foul against him for leaning on Woji's shoulders during an aerial duel!

  33. 5'

    Hermano delchibro cuts inside to beat his marker, but Henry hacks him down. Unbelievable, he was through!

  34. 0'

    Kick-off

    Kick-off! Both teams are desperate for the win. We should be in for a great match!

Key stats

DickyDog FRANCEFOOTBALL
67% Possession 33%
2 Goals 0
4 Shots on target 2
6 Shots off target 1
4 Fouls 8
0 Yellow cards 0
0 Red cards 1
0 Injuries 1

Scorers

  • Esprit VENGEUR 90'
  • SquirtyBéranger 26' Esprit VENGEUR

Scorers

None

Goalkeeper

Defence

Midfield

  • 26'
  • 90'26'

Attack

Substitutes

Goalkeeper

Defence

  • 64'

Midfield

  • 87'

Attack

Substitutes

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