Championship On 26/08/2026 15:30

Full time

0-8

HT: 0 - 5

Key moments

  1. 90'

    Samir Nasri goes down injured

    Samir Nasri is signaling to the bench that he is injured from that play. A real blow for his team!

  2. 85'

    Free kick scored by Samir Nasri

    GOAL!!! The wall was well-positioned, but Samir Nasri produced a world-class strike! The stadium is on its feet, the keeper is devastated!

  3. 83'

    Goal for Vekahaine! Zivi

    GOAL! From a wonderful pass by Victor Osimhen, Zivi just had to beat the keeper to score.

  4. 68'

    Goal for Vekahaine! Samir Nasri

    On a through ball, Samir Nasri controls it, freezes Dede, dribbles past him, and scores easily.

  5. 65'

    Victor Osimhen goes down injured

    Victor Osimhen is complaining about his leg, he should be coming off shortly.

  6. 40'

    Goal for Vekahaine! Victor Osimhen

    GOAL! Victor Osimhen steps over Damonfeuer and blasts it into the top corner. What a beautiful goal!

  7. 36'

    Goal for Vekahaine! Victor Osimhen

    Victor Osimhen controls the ball perfectly, cuts inside, and beats Dede with a cross-shot! What a GOAL!

  8. 25'

    Goal for Vekahaine! Victor Osimhen

    A through ball from Weba to Victor Osimhen, who hits a clean chip into the far corner.

  9. 18'

    Goal for Vekahaine! Zivi

    Samir Nasri takes the corner short and crosses to Zivi, who charges in to smash it home. Textbook stuff!

  10. 14'

    Goal for Vekahaine! Samir Nasri

    Lucho Gonzalez delivers a beautiful cross to Samir Nasri, who scores a fine header.

  11. 2'

    Yellow card for Joueur3

    Joueur3 picks up a yellow card; he will need to be more careful from now on.

What we witnessed today was not a football match; it was a public execution. The Grim Creatures/10 showed up to the pitch with the tactical awareness of a caffeinated squirrel, managing a grand total of zero shots on target. Their only notable contribution to the game was an early yellow card at the 2nd minute, setting the tone for a performance that can only be described as a masterclass in futility. While they were busy committing five fouls in a desperate attempt to stop the inevitable, Vekahaine was busy putting on a clinic, dismantling their opponents with surgical precision and ruthless efficiency.

Vekahaine treated the opposition’s goal like a personal practice target, racking up an embarrassing 0-8 scoreline that will surely haunt The Grim Creatures/10 for years to come. By the time the final whistle blew, the scoreboard looked more like a phone number than a match result. However, the victory came at a price, as the sheer physicality of the desperate, flailing defense from The Grim Creatures/10 resulted in two casualties for Vekahaine. It seems the only way to stop the victors was to physically break them, a sad testament to a team that clearly forgot how to play the actual sport. ⚽

It is truly impressive to lose 0-8 while simultaneously being the most aggressive team on the field. The Grim Creatures/10 proved that if you cannot win, you might as well play dirty, though even that failed them miserably. As for Vekahaine, they head home with a crushing victory and a couple of ice packs for their injured stars, while their opponents head home to reconsider their entire existence as a professional club. A dark day for football, but a hilarious one for those of us watching from the sidelines. 💀

Match details

Portland city (The Grim Creatures/10)

2600 spectators

No extra time

Pitch view

Dede
205 pts
22 yrs
Edouard B...
208 pts
25 yrs
Blutbad
195 pts
30 yrs
Hundjager
197 pts
29 yrs
Joueur3
196 pts
29 yrs
Momo
174 pts
27 yrs
Damonfeuer
197 pts
28 yrs
Lowen
199 pts
26 yrs
arthur
164 pts
27 yrs
Dembouz
185 pts
31 yrs
Movu
198 pts
21 yrs
Fernando ...
255 pts
25 yrs
William S...
254 pts
28 yrs
Taye Taiwo
254 pts
31 yrs
Gabriel H...
254 pts
28 yrs
Sacha Boey
254 pts
28 yrs
Lucho Gon...
252 pts
28 yrs
Samir Nasri
252 pts
27 yrs
Zivi
252 pts
21 yrs
Weba
260 pts
21 yrs
Mezii
283 pts
24 yrs
Victor Os...
260 pts
26 yrs

Match commentary

  1. 90'

    Full time!

    And that's the end of the match with a victory for Vekahaine, who have just beaten The Grim Creatures/10.

  2. 90'

    Samir Nasri goes down injured

    Samir Nasri is signaling to the bench that he is injured from that play. A real blow for his team!

  3. 89'

    Undeniable foul! Joueur3 tackles Samir Nasri with both feet off the ground!

  4. 87'

    Gabriel Heinze makes no attempt to play the ball there! Momo is on the ground. It is a foul.

  5. 85'

    Free kick scored by Samir Nasri

    GOAL!!! The wall was well-positioned, but Samir Nasri produced a world-class strike! The stadium is on its feet, the keeper is devastated!

  6. 84'

    Blutbad manages to dribble past Lucho Gonzalez, who catches up. Blutbad slaps his opponent! Foul!

  7. 83'

    Goal for Vekahaine! Zivi

    GOAL! From a wonderful pass by Victor Osimhen, Zivi just had to beat the keeper to score.

  8. 77'

    A series of passes between Weba and Sacha Boey while they wait for an opening.

  9. 71'

    Free kick by Samir Nasri

    Free kick, Samir Nasri to take it, he takes his run-up, it's 30 meters over the bar, that was a lovely drop goal!

  10. 71'

    In a duel with Edouard Boyer, William Saliba goes down easily! Unfortunately, the referee has been fooled.

  11. 68'

    Goal for Vekahaine! Samir Nasri

    On a through ball, Samir Nasri controls it, freezes Dede, dribbles past him, and scores easily.

  12. 65'

    Victor Osimhen goes down injured

    Victor Osimhen is complaining about his leg, he should be coming off shortly.

  13. 65'

    What a horror tackle! Momo drives his studs into Victor Osimhen's chest; the referee blows the whistle immediately.

  14. 62'

    Vekahaine are dominating and keeping possession, but a pitch invader supporting The Grim Creatures/10 has run onto the field and kicked the ball; he's been caught and play can resume.

  15. 58'

    The Grim Creatures/10 is dropping back as Vekahaine looks increasingly dangerous.

  16. 52'

    Shot off target by Lucho Gonzalez

    Splendid run from Lucho Gonzalez who beats one, then two defenders before toe-poking it at full stretch. The ball hits the post and goes out; he could have done better!

  17. 49'

    Shot off target by Zivi

    Lucho Gonzalez is played through on the right wing and immediately crosses for Zivi, who smashes a header, but unfortunately wide of the goal. The keeper didn't even move.

  18. 45'

    Back under way!

    Et c'est reparti pour 45 minutes. L'équipe The Grim Creatures/10 va devoir batailler si elle veut s'imposer.

  19. 45+2'

    Half-time

    C'est la fin de cette première mi-temps. Les équipes rentrent aux vestiaires pour 15 minutes sur le score de 5 buts à 0 pour Vekahaine.

  20. 43'

    A sublime cross-field pass from Victor Osimhen to Lucho Gonzalez, who brings it down with his chest.

  21. 40'

    Goal for Vekahaine! Victor Osimhen

    GOAL! Victor Osimhen steps over Damonfeuer and blasts it into the top corner. What a beautiful goal!

  22. 36'

    Goal for Vekahaine! Victor Osimhen

    Victor Osimhen controls the ball perfectly, cuts inside, and beats Dede with a cross-shot! What a GOAL!

  23. 35'

    William Saliba accelerates and passes to Zivi, who can't control the ball; it's a throw-in.

  24. 31'

    Vekahaine is currently unable to string two consecutive passes together against The Grim Creatures/10.

  25. 28'

    Shot off target by Mezii

    With no options available, Mezii decides to shoot from distance. It is completely sliced and heads towards the corner flag!

  26. 25'

    Goal for Vekahaine! Victor Osimhen

    A through ball from Weba to Victor Osimhen, who hits a clean chip into the far corner.

  27. 20'

    As Joueur3 heads toward the goal, Gabriel Heinze stops him in his tracks with a fine sliding tackle. Great defending!

  28. 18'

    Goal for Vekahaine! Zivi

    Samir Nasri takes the corner short and crosses to Zivi, who charges in to smash it home. Textbook stuff!

  29. 14'

    Goal for Vekahaine! Samir Nasri

    Lucho Gonzalez delivers a beautiful cross to Samir Nasri, who scores a fine header.

  30. 9'

    Great pressing from Vekahaine. The Grim Creatures/10 is struggling to play properly.

  31. 4'

    Mezii intercepts a pass intended for Momo.

  32. 3'

    Great defending from Gabriel Heinze, who manages to pin Dembouz at the corner flag and eventually nicks the ball away!

  33. 2'

    Yellow card for Joueur3

    Joueur3 picks up a yellow card; he will need to be more careful from now on.

  34. 1'

    Unacceptable foul by Joueur3 who tackles William Saliba from behind! That is a real horror tackle!

  35. 0'

    Kick-off

    And we are underway in this magnificent stadium! We expect a good match between The Grim Creatures/10 and Vekahaine!

Key stats

The Grim Creatures/10 Vekahaine
0 Goals 8
0 Shots on target 8
0 Shots off target 4
5 Fouls 1
1 Yellow cards 0
0 Red cards 0
0 Injuries 2

Scorers

None

Scorers

  • Samir Nasri 85'
  • Zivi 83' Victor Osimhen
  • Samir Nasri 68'
  • Victor Osimhen 40'
  • Victor Osimhen 36'
  • Victor Osimhen 25' Weba
  • Zivi 18' Samir Nasri
  • Samir Nasri 14' Lucho Gonzalez

Team sheet

The Grim Creatures/10

Goalkeeper

Defence

  • 2'

Midfield

Attack

Substitutes

Vekahaine

Goalkeeper

Defence

Midfield

  • 85'68'14'90'
  • 83'18'

Attack

  • 40'36'25'65'

Substitutes

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