CERGY MASSACRE: DARKROZH FC FORGETS THE BALL EXISTS
It was less of a football match and more of a tactical exercise in how to avoid the goal entirely. The Darkrozh FC squad spent their afternoon treating the pitch like a wrestling ring, racking up six fouls while managing the impossible feat of recording exactly zero shots—not even a hopeful prayer towards the stands. Meanwhile, FC Cergy looked like they were playing against a collection of traffic cones, effortlessly dismantling their opponents with a 4-0 demolition that could have been twice as ugly if their aim had been slightly sharper. ⚽
The misery for Darkrozh FC began early, with a flurry of fouls culminating in a clinical free-kick goal for FC Cergy in the 9th minute. The only thing the visitors seemed to master was the art of the cynical tackle, which unfortunately resulted in an injury for an FC Cergy player in the 34th minute. It was a dark day for the traveling side, who seemed to have confused the laws of football with a rugby training session, leaving their goalkeeper to face a relentless barrage of 8 shots on target throughout the ninety minutes.
Once the second half rolled around, the floodgates opened. FC Cergy turned the screws, finding the net in the 57th, 70th, and 86th minutes to seal a lopsided victory. While the hosts weren't perfect—committing two fouls of their own and missing a few chances—they were in a different league compared to the shell-shocked Darkrozh FC. As the final whistle blew, the scoreboard stood as a brutal testament to a game that was essentially target practice for the home side. Absolute domination. 🏆
