Championship

Full time

Key moments

  1. 85'

    Goal for Rift Rubis/97! Derp Banane

    Following a solo run down the right flank, Epic Baka draws the keeper out before squaring to Derp Banane at the back post, who slots it into the empty net.

  2. 82'

    Goal for Rift Rubis/97! Mega Nugget

    Corner! Dj Pantalon whips it in, and Mega Nugget capitalizes on the defense's hesitation to blast a left-footed volley past the keeper!

  3. 66'

    Yellow card for Hyhe

    Hyhe is very late on his opponent and receives a deserved yellow card.

  4. 61'

    Yellow card for John Terrible

    Yellow card for John Terrible! You have to wonder how he escaped a red for that nasty challenge...

  5. 47'

    Goal for Rift Rubis/97! Derp Banane

    What a goal! Derp Banane tries a shot from 20 meters out that hits the bar and goes in!

  6. 29'

    Yellow card for Ramos

    The referee cautions Ramos with a yellow card after consulting the linesman.

  7. 20'

    Goal for Rift Rubis/97! Derp Banane

    Epic Baka cuts into the box and squares it to Derp Banane, who beats the keeper with ease. The goalie is shouting at his defenders for standing still on that play!

What a spectacular display of dominance! Rift Rubis/97 treated the pitch like their personal playground today, dismantling Team Retro/91 with a ruthless 4-0 scoreline that felt more like a public service announcement than a football match. While Rift Rubis/97 played with the grace of a well-oiled machine—committing zero fouls, mind you—the visitors were seemingly allergic to the concept of fair play. It was a masterclass in efficiency for the victors, who turned 7 shots on target into an absolute goal-fest, leaving the opposition chasing shadows and picking up yellow cards like they were collecting trading stamps. ⚽

The misery for Team Retro/91 began early when Rift Rubis/97 opened the scoring at the 20th minute, setting the tone for a long, painful afternoon. As the frustration mounted, the Team Retro/91 squad decided that if they couldn't stop the ball, they would at least try to stop the players, resulting in a flurry of three yellow cards between the 29th and 66th minutes. It was a desperate, chaotic defensive display that only served to highlight their complete lack of discipline against a superior opponent who simply refused to play dirty.

By the time the final whistle blew, Rift Rubis/97 had hammered the final nails into the coffin with two late goals in the 82nd and 85th minutes. Watching Team Retro/91 struggle to connect with their lone shot on target while the home side danced around them was nothing short of tragic—or hilarious, depending on your allegiance. This wasn't just a win; it was a total annihilation that proved Rift Rubis/97 is currently playing a different sport entirely compared to the fossilized efforts of Team Retro/91. Better luck next time, boys, maybe try playing the ball instead of the man! 🤡

Match details

On 10/08/2026 11:30

The Mine (Rift Rubis/97)

10000 spectators

No extra time

Tsuki Fleau
230 pts
30 yrs
Chan Venin
219 pts
31 yrs
Auguste Roux
241 pts
28 yrs
Yann Barbier
250 pts
30 yrs
Eternel R...
221 pts
27 yrs
Derp Banane
233 pts
30 yrs
Dj Pantalon
232 pts
34 yrs
Mega Nugget
231 pts
32 yrs
Mega Knight
231 pts
33 yrs
Epic Baka
232 pts
30 yrs
Mega kun
224 pts
29 yrs
Alexis Pilet
205 pts
32 yrs
John Terr...
217 pts
33 yrs
Ramos
225 pts
35 yrs
Valentin ...
205 pts
30 yrs
Popu
217 pts
22 yrs
Boudaoui
212 pts
28 yrs
Dayot Upa...
220 pts
33 yrs
Vyry
172 pts
21 yrs
Pyvo
227 pts
22 yrs
Zoby
225 pts
22 yrs
Hyhe
174 pts
22 yrs

Match commentary

  1. 90'

    Full time!

    The match ends with a score of 4-0. A tight contest that provided great entertainment, well played gentlemen!

  2. 88'

    Shot off target by Eternel Ruine

    Great work from Eternel Ruine on the wing. He looks up and sends a cross-field ball to find Epic Baka. Unfortunately, his volley goes well over the goal.

  3. 85'

    Goal for Rift Rubis/97! Derp Banane

    Following a solo run down the right flank, Epic Baka draws the keeper out before squaring to Derp Banane at the back post, who slots it into the empty net.

  4. 82'

    Goal for Rift Rubis/97! Mega Nugget

    Corner! Dj Pantalon whips it in, and Mega Nugget capitalizes on the defense's hesitation to blast a left-footed volley past the keeper!

  5. 77'

    Shot off target by Epic Baka

    Epic Baka cuts past a defender and curls a shot that goes well over the bar.

  6. 73'

    Rift Rubis/97 fans are throwing flares onto the pitch, and stewards have to intervene. Play resumes.

  7. 70'

    Shot on target by Eternel Ruine

    Magnificent 30-meter strike from Eternel Ruine. The keeper gathers the ball at the second attempt.

  8. 66'

    Free kick by Epic Baka

    What a save from Alexis Pilet! Epic Baka's free kick was heading for the top corner, but the keeper's reflex denies the goal.

  9. 66'

    Yellow card for Hyhe

    Hyhe is very late on his opponent and receives a deserved yellow card.

  10. 66'

    Hyhe commits a heavy foul, tackling Mega Nugget from behind with both feet off the ground.

  11. 61'

    Yellow card for John Terrible

    Yellow card for John Terrible! You have to wonder how he escaped a red for that nasty challenge...

  12. 61'

    John Terrible slides into Eternel Ruine as he sprints with the ball; that is a foul.

  13. 59'

    A surging run from Dayot Upamecano looking for a one-two with John Terrible, but the latter is blocked.

  14. 54'

    Shot off target by Popu

    Popu skins two players and hits the post from thirty-five meters out!!

  15. 49'

    Epic Baka and Mega kun are linking up perfectly today; they are building some exceptional play together!

  16. 47'

    Goal for Rift Rubis/97! Derp Banane

    What a goal! Derp Banane tries a shot from 20 meters out that hits the bar and goes in!

  17. 45'

    Back under way!

    Et c'est reparti pour une seconde période. L'équipe Team Retro/91 va devoir batailler si elle veut s'imposer.

  18. 45+1'

    Half-time

    C'est la fin de cette première mi-temps. Les équipes rentrent aux vestiaires pour 15 minutes sur le score de 1 buts à 0 pour Rift Rubis/97.

  19. 40'

    Big chance for Mega Nugget, who beats the keeper but is denied by the last-ditch effort of Ramos. What a shame!

  20. 38'

    Shot off target by Boudaoui

    Boudaoui lets fly from 25 meters! Ohhhh, that was close.

  21. 33'

    Shot on target by Dj Pantalon

    Mega Nugget crosses for Dj Pantalon, who hits a beautiful volley, but the keeper makes an incredible fingertip save.

  22. 29'

    Yellow card for Ramos

    The referee cautions Ramos with a yellow card after consulting the linesman.

  23. 29'

    A shirt pull by Ramos; the referee saw it all and blows for a foul.

  24. 25'

    Save by Tsuki Fleau

    Dayot Upamecano is one-on-one with Tsuki Fleau but completely fluffs the chip! What a lack of composure.

  25. 20'

    Goal for Rift Rubis/97! Derp Banane

    Epic Baka cuts into the box and squares it to Derp Banane, who beats the keeper with ease. The goalie is shouting at his defenders for standing still on that play!

  26. 15'

    Shot off target by Mega Nugget

    Big miss! Mega Nugget cuts the ball back to Derp Banane. After a great touch he is one-on-one with the keeper, but his powerful strike is off target! What a waste...

  27. 10'

    A dangerous cross from Eternel Ruine is easily dealt with by Dayot Upamecano, who clears with a header.

  28. 8'

    Auguste Roux hesitates too long in the box and loses the ball following a challenge from Zoby.

  29. 5'

    Controlling a high ball on his chest, Vyry pulls off a superb sombrero flick over Derp Banane. Pure class.

  30. 4'

    Team Retro/91 can no longer build up play or string two passes together! This is down to the excellent high press from Rift Rubis/97!

  31. 0'

    Kick-off

    The referee blows the whistle for kick-off, a few vuvuzelas can be heard.

Key stats

Rift Rubis/97 Team Retro/91
76% Possession 24%
4 Goals 0
7 Shots on target 1
3 Shots off target 2
0 Fouls 3
0 Yellow cards 3
0 Red cards 0
0 Injuries 0

Scorers

  • Derp Banane 85' Epic Baka
  • Mega Nugget 82' Dj Pantalon
  • Derp Banane 47'
  • Derp Banane 20' Epic Baka

Scorers

None

Goalkeeper

Defence

Midfield

  • 85'47'20'
  • 82'
  • 82'

Attack

  • 85'20'

Substitutes

Goalkeeper

Defence

  • 61'
  • 29'

Midfield

Attack

  • 66'

Substitutes

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